PARENTING - Blame the parents!

Blame the parents! How Mom and Dad have a stronger influence on your attitudes to work than your religion, personality or profession

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 06:58 GMT, 7 December 2013 | UPDATED: 06:58 GMT, 7 December 2013

How you view your time in the workplace is more more heavily influenced by your parents than previously thought, according to new research.

A study at the University of Michigan reveals that parents' attitudes to employment could play a stronger in an adult's work orientation than religion, personality or profession.

'Work orientations are a modern link between the meaning of work for parents and children,' said Professor Wayne Baker, chair of management and organizations at U-M's Ross School of Business.

Good role model? A study at the University of Michigan reveals that parents' attitudes to employment could play a stronger in an adult's work orientation than religion, personality or profession

'Socialization during adolescence is the mechanism through which this persistent link is established,' he continued.

Baker produced this research with Kathryn Dekas, who got her Ph.D. from Ross and is now a People Analytics Manager at Google.

A work orientation refers to how a person views the meaning of work, and other studies have claimed that adults fall into three main categories in how they view their employment: job, career or calling.

Dr Dekas said they were interested in seeing how people see their work in a changing modern world.

'This study suggests the way people see their work is fairly deep-seated,' she said. 

'And it is influenced by the way one's parents saw their work, no matter whether parents and children share the same occupation,' she added.

Hard-wired: Interestingly, children hold similar orientations to their parents even as they change jobs, careers and industries

Interestingly, children hold similar orientations to their parents even as they change jobs, careers and industries. 

However, Baker added that some things can disrupt the strong parental effect. 'If you are working in a distressed industry, that tends to swamp the effects of parental influence,' Baker said. 

'I think it's hard to think about the higher purpose of your work if you are fearful of losing your job.'

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PARENTING - 10 Bad Effects that can happen when you force your children to Study

Article by lakshay malhotra

On every bend, around every corner, new dreams and new desires to achieve something, sprouts up in every person.  The passion that blasts dynamically in ones soul creates a make belief world around a person. Their ambition to full fill dreams is the only main thing they looks forward to. On their way, they accept all the failures, they over comes them and all they need is an emotional support from the loved ones. Ever thought what will happen if their loved ones stand in the way, become an obstacle and try to divert that person to a new destination?!

Well, here are the top 10 effects of forcing someone to study what he does not like.

10. Suicide

Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. It is often committed out of despair, the cause of which is frequently a mental disorder like depression.  Being pressured from all the sides especially from loved ones like parents, people develop suicidal tendencies. It is likely to be the first thing one usually thinks of when s/he gets a shock in their life. It’s like they feel totally frustrated with the way people are handling them and forcing them to do something. S/he might feel like a puppet.

To prevent suicidal tendencies, there are 3 methods:

• Interventions
• Psychological treatments
• Confidence and Personality development workshops.

9. Mental fitness

It can be defined as a state of mind. Being pressured and studying the he subjects a person does not like, they are subjected to lose interest in studies and in career. Feelings like depression, aggression and irritation develop.

Also, since there is lot of pressure on the person from his/her home, to get good grades, no doubt s/he may even step in wrong direction. This involves the use of alcohol or performance boosting drugs.

Few tips to improve mental state are:

• Exercise every day.
• Read often and read widely.
• Challenge your intellect and memory with puzzles like Sudoku or crossword.
• Take quality time to relax frequently.
• Take up a new hobby.
• Manage your health.
• Engage in stimulating conversations and divert your mind.
• Take up a manual activity or craft.
• Exercise your brain with fun tasks.

8. Failure

A situation of failure can be different for different people. Some take is a moral boosting even where as for some people it is a shocking moment or an end of their lives. Such people posses an unstable mental state makes a person concentrate less on their chores and think about their problems more.  Leading to alcohol and drugs and just partying, a person lose their ability to concentrate and they then fail in their respective tasks.

To prevent this:

• Meditate
• Try to establish faith and confidence in yourself
• Stick a poster in front of you, where you sit, saying “YOU CAN DO IT”
• Read motivating stuff.

7. Depression

It is a state of low mood that affects a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, worried, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, hurt, or restless. They lose interest in activities that once were interesting. They also experience loss of appetite or overeating. They have problems in concentrating and making decisions, and may suicide.

Being failed in career, life or anything one tries, the person can go into a state of depression.

To prevent or escape the state of depression,

• Join a physiotherapy course
• Some medications also help but at cost of some side effects
• Many medical devices have also been developed which use some rays to play around with your brain and make you feel relaxed.
• Join music therapy
• Do yoga
• Get acupuncture
• Try reiki.

6. Aggression

It is an intension to cause harm or act intended to increase social dominance. In this state, the person gets angry and can hurt himself or anyone else.

Being failed in life, the depressed may choose a wrong path of alcohol and lose his consciousness, gets angry and can harm other people. Later at some stages, this I what often leads to domestic violence.

Though anti – aggression drugs were tried, the outcomes weren’t successful. So the treatment for this lasts in one’s own hands.

• Join a physiotherapy course
• Join music therapy
• Do yoga
• Get acupuncture
• Meditate
• Try to establish faith and confidence in yourself
• Stick a poster in front of you, where you sit, saying “YOU CAN DO IT”
• Read motivating stuff.
• Do physical exercises and deep breathing.

5. Irritation

It is somewhat similar to frustration. Being failed in life, the person always remains irritated. Their irritation dominates their social life and so their concentration. It is an unpredictable state of mind where no one can actually judge that what will be the person’s next move. Usually such people tend to do stuff they themselves don’t know that why they are doing.

No such treatment is there. All you can do is try to make the person happy and raise his self esteem.

4. Struggle

Out of 10 such people there are at least 2 or 3 that prefer to struggle for their dreams even their loved ones are against them. Out of the remaining 7-8 people, there is at least 1 person that creates a new path towards his/her dreams but through the way others want. This is called struggling. That person struggles out his/her way.

S/he prevents depression, loss of confidence and maintains a stable state of mind. Following methods should be adapted to be optimistic always:

• Do yoga
• Meditate
• Try to establish faith and confidence in yourself
• Stick a poster in front of you, where you sit, saying “YOU CAN DO IT”
• Read motivating stuff.
• Do physical exercises and deep breathing.

3. Loss of faith

When a person comes to know that his/her loved ones don’t want them to study what s/he loves to study, s/he feels confused initially. But at a later stage either the person ignores them or goes into an unstable mental state. S/he might go into depression but the person loses his/her faith in his/er loved ones. The bond weakens and the trust slowly breaks down. The person stays in an irritated mental state socially as well as personally. To prevent this situation:

• Try to understand that according to them they trying to do what is best for you
• They care for you
• Keeping these 2 things in mid, MEDITATE 10 minutes daily.

2. Low self esteem

It is a term used for a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. It is like that the mind set has been created in such a way that the person feel as if what the society is saying and what your loved ones are saying about is all true..

One could have a low self esteem depending on factor like:

• Ups and downs in his personal life
• Ups and downs in his career
• Relationship problem
• Failed tasks
• The most important, his loved ones are against him.

Cure to low self esteem is very simple:

• Do yoga
• Meditate
• Try to establish faith and confidence in yourself
• Stick a poster in front of you, where you sit, saying “YOU CAN DO IT”
• Read motivating stuff.
• Do physical exercises and deep breathing.
• Challenge your intellect and memory with puzzles like Sudoku or crossword.

1. Confusion

Most of such people go lost in confusion and they have no idea what to do. No depression or aggression or irritation. They just become numb and confused and keep on thinking what to do.

Confusion is the worst state of mind which takes a lot of hard work if you want to get out of it.

Out of every 10 such people, at least 4-5 are the confused ones.

For such people:

• Do consider going to a psychiatrist for help
• Consider a career counselling as well
• Keep your mind free from pressure.
• Do meditation
• Morning exercise would help in decreasing a little load on your brain

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PARENTING - Top 10 Childhood Morals that were Taught Wrong

Article by koyna

Psychologists have often wondered how children develop morality and ethics. Also, morality has been an integral part of debate about parenting techniques. Weather Morality is a prerogative of parents to be passed on to children or is it for the children to learn as they grow. We all have been taught things in our childhoods which as we grow, we realize aren’t quite accurate and at the end of the day it is the responsibility of parents to instill in children some form of integrity or responsibility.

Most of us are taught that things are black and white, that there’s an absolute truth when it comes to morals and the issues of right/wrong doings, but as we grow we eventually realize that things are more grey than black or white, that truths and absolute but are subject to a person’s own position in time and space. Morals necessarily don’t have to be accepted by a majority to be claimed legitimate. And often in fear of damaging a child emotionally parents become protective and keep their children away from the realities of life, which later might actually prove to be fatal in their lives. Such hypocrisy is what has led to some very important morals being taught in a completely ridiculous way. Here is a list of Top ten childhood morals that we were taught wrong.

10. Honesty is the best policy

Yes, Honesty does build in the essential sensitivity to ethics and a perspective towards deeper understanding of people and life around us, but at the end of the day there’s a difference between being honest and being completely outlandish. We have to draw a line at a point where we know the truth can hurt others more than non-mentioning it. But as a child we are never taught this key distinction which leads to a lot of problems later in life. We perceive how hypocritical our own parents are being and some  even completely give up on the fable of Honesty is the best policy.

9. The more the merrier

When you are a kid, it’s always about having more. Getting better grades, having more friends, working more, eating more, and playing more. Everything is exaggerated and hyper. But this more the merrier policy that most parents drill into their kids can be very twisty a8t certain times. Is it so important to experience the extremes of everything, and sometimes parents can’t acknowledge or digest the fact that their child might actually be okay with being mediocre at some things. He/She necessarily does not have to be in a constant state of excellence. This often leaves one wanting more throughout their lives. Nothing is ever enough and one is always left waiting for that more to fill their lives and make it perfect.

8. Hard work is the only key to success

In a time where people often turn to the dictum of Smart work is the only key to success, parents still their children with the older version of the saying hard work Is the key to success. Yes, hard work does teach one to be better prepared in life and also instills in us patience which is essential to many things in life. But amidst this cry of hard work children often forget what is most important to seek quality in everything they do. Also, time management is often an issue for those who go by the lines of hard work and keep stressing themselves under conditions which can be turned around very easily had they ever taught the importance of smart work.

7. Whatever happens, is for your own good

Whatever happens, no matter how depressing, how annoying, how irritating it is, it is best for you (because God willed it so). This is one of the most common scenes in almost every home. But unfortunately for us, we take this too seriously and call ourselves optimists while we really are just accepting everything along the lines of fate and thus leave the analysis of every failure or even success out of the big picture. Instead of fortuitous we must start taking responsibility of our actions and start assigning it to the steps that led to it rather than just sitting and accepting it as it comes.

6. You can do anything you believe in

We all have been told as children that we can do and become everything we want to. It has been repeated so many times that we almost take it as a moral. As divine providence. Anything is possible. But as we grow and realities hit us, this turns out to be another projection of parents’ hypocrisy. We are given one single track or a number of track outside which everything else is out of bounds. Childhood dreams are crushed and replaced by morepragmatic ones (as they call it.)

5. Birds of a feather flock together

From Kindergarten to High school children are asked to seek people like themselves (Read: Nerdy, studious, prude). Something which is the base of the cliques that is stereotypical to almost every culture around the world. It establishes another kind of class based on the supposition that you are better than the others, that people from different backgrounds, be it social, economic or cultural can’t and shouldn’t be friends. And this is carried for a long time in life and results in many prejudices.

4. Money can’t buy happiness

Yes, it’s in the true essence a perfectly sane thing to teach, no matter what the age of the person is. But very often the way children perceive it becomes a source of great dissatisfaction later in their lives. Yes, money isn’t the central thing to a life but at the end of the day some happiness and satisfaction does come from material security. To assume that money holds no importance in a life would be a stupid thing to do, especially in the present context. On the other extreme some people grow up taking money for granted which again leads to a major problem later.

3. Do unto others as you would have done unto you

This is the golden rule of growing up. We are asked to treat everyone with equal compassion and understanding but at the same time on the other end of the preaching we see our own parents having their own prejudices and biases which again casts a huge question mark in relation to the whole thing. And to think of it, it is actually not possible for anyone to treat everyone with same  dignity and thought. Instead of asking us to perceive everyone equal in our own eyes we should be in practical sense taught how everyone is equal before the law, no matter what our own conception of that equality means.

2. Be punctual, walk in a straight line aka adhere to structures.

Structuralism and a linear hierarchy of conduct is grilled into us from the very beginning, leaving little scope for individuality or personal maneuverings. We are asked to adhere to state structures, to customs and not to question existence of such abstract ideals which in reality we can’t relate to at all. Thus instead of this totalitarianism in structures we must be given flexibility of questioning and thoughts.

1. Don’t interrupt a parent (unless it’s an emergency).

This one is the icing on top. It’s the final blow the closed world that most parents create for their children. The worst thing you can do is argue with your parents or interrupt them. The rule being, if you want to then wait for an appropriate moment, and seek redressal. It is essentially this kind of atmosphere which establishes an authority that some aren’t able to shed for rest of their lives. Children being the easiest to dominate sometimes end up learning scary and often disturbing habits. For even if they want to protest against it, they can’t.

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PARENTING - How Does Divorce Affect Children? All you need to know before you take the Extreme Step

Article by Kavya Parnami

When two people separate, it not only affects their lives but also have an everlasting impact on the lives of the people related with them and most importantly that of their children. Divorce possesses a great impact on children may it be negative or positive depending upon the nature of the children as how they will take it and also on the situations prevailing at that phase of time. It is the duty of the parents to try everything possible in their hands to keep the child out of the reasons leading to divorce and also from the consequences of the divorce. Parents should take care that the child will not feel that he is guilty of the separation of his or her parents as this guilt can ruin his or her thinking and thereby life. This article consists of the top ten affects of divorce on children. Every divorced or will be divorced parent must go through this article so that they can prevent their child from going through all these situations by always supporting their child, being there for him or her whenever he or she needs, giving the child with all their love and care and most importantly by not making the child ever think that the divorce of the parents is the child’s fault. Parents should never let their children notice the differences and fights existing between them to forbid their child from getting hurt.

10. LOSE TEMPER EASILY

Usually after the divorce of the parents or during the procedure, when the child sees so much of fights in the house, he or she becomes irritated. This anger and frustration developing inside the child makes him or her lose temper very often and very easily. All the anger that the child is possessing inside him or her comes out in the form of shouting at other may it is family or friends. The child at that condition is not able to tolerate anything which is not according to his or her convenience and becomes aggressive for small things. Even pranks played on the child can provoke his or her anger.

9. START BREAKING RULES

Having seen so much of arguments between the parents, the child also develops an attitude of back answering to his or her parents. The child stops listening to the parents and do things according to his or her own will. He or she starts making his or her own rules and does not listen to anything which the parents say. Coming late at night, going out without informing, bunking classes, arguing with everyone and basically breaking every single rule made by the parents, becomes the hobby of the child. The child fundamentally completely follows the principle that “Rules are meant to be Broken”.

8. STARTS ISOLATING

Children also start isolating from everyone after the separation of their parents. They do not like constant questioning of everyone that what happened, why their parents were having fights, were their parents involved with some other person and many more such questions which make them uncomfortable and awkward. Also, continuous sympathy of their relatives and friends makes them feel uneasy and thus to avoid all such situations where they may get themselves in a disquieting state, they prefer to be left all alone where there is no one to disturb them. This isolation also possesses an adverse affect on their health.

7. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

This is human tendency to think of suicide when the problems in life exceed the saturation limit. Everyone have problems but only a few possess the courage to deal them and overcome them. Adults are matured enough to remove the suicidal thoughts that comes to their mind as they know that committing suicide will not only affect them but will also destroy the lives of the people who love them. They know their responsibilities and thus are able to withdraw such thoughts. Even after having so much maturity, many young people commit suicide, so when we think of the children dealing with such situations, their tendency of committing suicide is much higher as they do not have develop decision making power. Since divorce of the parents creates so much tension and stress in the life of the children, many of the children think of committing suicide.

6. HEALTH AND SLEEP PROBLEMS

It is very obvious that stress leads to many health problems and that is why many children have deteriorating health when their parents separate. Because of dramatic changes in life and due to significant stress that they possess, they are more susceptible to illness as compared to other children. Loss of constant adult supervision and a safe environment are the most common consequences of divorce which reduce the availability of those factors which contributes to good health. Children also face sleep problems as all the negative thoughts instilled in them makes it difficult to sleep.

5. START SMOKING AND DRINKING

Many people believe that drinking alcohol reduces their problems. But that is just a stupid thing that those people believe who does not have the courage to deal with their problems and the ones who prefer running away from their problems. Alcohol can just make us forget our problems for some time, but it will not solve them. Children, as we know, are influenced by pear pressure many a times. Pear pressure when added with stressful life increases the probability of leading the children to smoke, drink and also sometimes getting addicted to drugs.

4. MORE CHANCES OF GETTING DIVORCED

A child learns what he sees is a very popular saying. When all a child sees is his or her parents fighting, arguing with each other, not respecting each other and blaming each other for everything, then this is all a child learns. The chances of getting divorced of such a child, when he or she grows up is more than the one who has not faced such problems in life. Also, sometimes, children just stop believing in love and marriage because of all the hardships they have faced and thus never let anyone come close to them emotionally.

3. HIGHER RISK OF STROKE

Studies have been proved that children whose parents have been divorced are at higher risk of strokes. Research conducted in University Of Toronto has proved that there is a strong link between divorce and risk of strokes. It is not that divorce cause strokes, but there exists an association between the both according to the research. Breaking up of relations, changes a child physiology and also leads to more exposure to stress which thereby increases hypertension therefore causing strokes.

2. POOR ACADEMICS

Children of the divorced parents are said to have fallen behind their classmates who live in a stable family, in academics as they are more likely to suffer low self esteem, anxiety and stress. There are even chances that they may have to drop out of school if the parent who has the custody of the child is relocating. Changing of schools again and again affects that particular time in which a child must graduate.

1. RELAXED LIFE

All the points stated above are the negative impacts of divorce on children. But as every coin has two sides, there is a positive impact also which can make the life of the children more relaxing. It depends on the parents, how they handle the situation and not let their children getting affected. A child’s perspective in seeing things also plays an important role in dealing with the problem. If mother and father are happier as individuals, their children will also be happy and will do much better. Divorce also resolves all the tension out of the house making the child relaxed. Sharing of custody of the child, give the kids the opportunity to experience each parent as a competent and full parent. When parents model that they will be in a satisfying and supportive relationship for their kids even after the divorce, it will definitely give a positive end result.

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PARENTING - Top 10 Ways To Make Your Child Smarter And Intelligent

Article by Kavya Parnami

There are no such parents, may be of any religion or caste, who do not want their child to be the best in any field the child chooses. All parents want their child to excel in everything. For all parents, their child is the best from all the other children. No matter how much the parent scold their child and criticize their child, at the end, all they want is the goodwill of their child. All this criticism, yelling, punishing and scolding is only for the welfare of the child. All parents wants that their child should be smart and intelligent and that he or she should achieve great heights and have a bright future. To achieve this they start working from the very beginning and make plans and goals so that their child can have a secure and bright future. There are many things that the parents do so that their child turns out to be the best from other children like sending their child to coaching institutes, to the best schools and what not. There can be many ways to make the child smarter than the rest, but to achieve so many things have to be kept in mind. This article will provide us with the top ten tips that parents should keep in mind if they want their child to be smart and intelligent.

10. COMMUNICATE

Communication is very necessary if you want to raise a smarter and intelligent child. Parents should take out time to talk to their children and to listen to what they have to say. Even if the child do not understand, parents should keep on communicating with their child, as it will help to develop language skill in their child. Also, reading books to a small child makes them smarter and helps to develop the hobby of reading among them. This quality of reading will prove to be beneficial in the long run for the children and will help them to achieve great success.

9. INTERACT THROUGH ACTIONS

It is not only talking and listening that will help to make a child smarter, but gestures are also important in raising an intelligent child. Parents should communicate with their gestures also as it has a great impact on brain growth. It is a well known fact that a child having a lot of people around to shower love learns things faster and more easily rather than the child who is deprived of all this. This fact has even been proved in many studies. So, it is advisable that parents should interact with their children through gestures like playing, hugging, interacting and a lot more as it will help in developing the intelligence of the child and will also provide the child with good thinking skills. Moreover, it will also strengthen the bond between parents and children.

8. BE SMART

A child learns and grasps what he or she observes and that too very quickly. So it is very important that parents perform smart actions in front of that the child so that the child can adapt them. Reading books or newspapers or magazines, watching channels which provide knowledge and information about new things such as news channels or discovery channel and a lot more actions can be performed which will make the child sharper and smarter. Thus, if the parents will be smart, so will be the child. So it is very important that parents should act smart if they want their children to be smarter.

7. INTRODUCE EXERCISE IN YOUR CHILD’S ROUTINE

Many people have this misconception that exercise makes the child only physically fit and strong. This is a partial truth because exercise not only increases the physical strength of a child but also improves the child’s mental strength. Since new brain cells are formed with the increase in blood flow to the brain, so it is very important to introduce exercise in the child’s daily routine as regular exercise increases the blood flow which in turn will make the brain more sharp and the child smarter. A child’s brain is a developing brain and thus exercise for children is a lot more beneficial that it is for adults as it leaves a long lasting impact on the brain.

6. PROVIDE HEALTHY DIET

Healthy food provides numerous numbers of benefits. Apart from keeping our body fit and providing immunity from diseases, it is also responsible for improving our mental abilities. Every nutrient provides our brain with different benefits. A diet which is rich in protein will help to improve the thinking ability of the child and also makes the child more alert and attentive. Carbohydrates on the other hand provide fuel to the brain which improves the capability to think more quickly. Vitamins and minerals also possess many advantages for the brain. Thus, parents should provide their children with healthy and nutritious diet and should avoid junk food which includes pizzas, burgers, fries and other oily food as they contain sugar and processed carbohydrates which leaves a bad impact on the brain and also reduces the ability to focus, attention span and activity level of the child.

5. CHALLENGE YOUR CHILD

Challenges have the ability to make the child think and concentrate as the child strives to complete it. Challenges can be like quizzes, crosswords, riddles and many more intelligent computer games which not only provide entertainment to the child but also improve the child’s left side of the brain which is based on logic and reasoning functions. This way the child not only becomes aware of the latest technology but working on a computer also helps to develop the coordination between hands and eyes. Moreover, solving challenges also provides the child with the ability to plan things and incorporates in the child the determination and confidence to complete the challenge which in long run will help the child to achieve goals. It is thus very important for the parents to keep challenging their children in order to develop problem solving and decision making abilities among their children, which will therefore make them intelligent and smart.

4. BRING MUSIC TO YOUR CHILD’S LIFE

We all know that stress possess a very bad effect on our brain and thus reduce our mental abilities. But we also know the fact that the best way to cure stress is listening to music. Thus, listening to music is considered very advantageous for our mental health. Also, if we learn to play a musical instrument, it will be beneficial for both our right side and left side of the brain as it improves our reasoning and thinking ability which thus enhances the right side of the brain and it also is creative which in turn enhances our left part of the brain. Parents must therefore bring music to their child’s life if they want their child to be the best.

3. TAKE YOUR CHILD TO DIFFERENT PLACES

Going to new places helps to explore new things in life which is very beneficial for a child’s developing brain. It also provides the child with a lot of knowledge and information about many different new things. Thus, parents should take their children for outings whenever they get time as it helps to make the child smarter and intelligent.

2. INTRODUCE TIME FOR PLAY IN YOUR CHILD’S ROUTINE

Everyone agrees with the fact that spending time only with books makes our life boring and dull. Playing outdoor games plays an important role in enhancing our mental activity. When children go out to play, they develop social, emotional, physical and intellectual skills which help them in the long run. Also, meeting with new people will lead to the exchange of feelings and ideas which makes the child smarter and well aware about everything. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to play different sports and also to make more friends.

1. MAINTAIN BALANCE WITH EVERYTHING

The most important thing that should be kept in mind in order to make the child intelligent and smart is maintaining balance with everything the child does. Excess of anything stated above whether it be playing, reading, exercising, etc will make the exhaust the brain and will thus make us mentally weak. Therefore, it is very necessary to maintain balance with everything if parents want their children to defeat the rest and thus be the best.

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PARENTING - Top 10 Reasons Why Siblings Fight

Article by Kavya Parnami

Have you ever seen any sibling who does not fight? It is almost impossible to find such sibling that have not fought even once. Siblings usually do not need any reason to start their fight. They are ever ready to irritate each other and make fun of each other. These small issues turns big within seconds and then eventually lead to big fights which may sometimes even involve pulling one’s hair, slapping, pushing and what not. But this is also true that the faster these fights between siblings start, at an even faster rate they are resolved. But sometimes, these small fights may leave bitterness in their hearts which can destroy their relation and can thus lead to huge disputes which will not be easy to resolve. It is very important for the parents to avoid causing situations which later may destroy the beautiful and pure relation of siblings. Also, they should try and resolve the fights as soon as possible to avoid growing hard feelings between the siblings for each other. This article consists of the top ten reasons because of which siblings fight and also some tips for the parents to avoid such fights.

10. UNIQUE PERSONALITIES

Every child has a different personality. One may be very good in academics while the other may be excellent in sports. It is not necessary that every child has the same area of interest. Because of this varying personality many conflicts may arise which may ultimately leads to fights between siblings. Difference in personalities often leads to comparison between children by the parents which then tend to lead towards fights. This may also arouse the feeling of jealousy between the siblings which can even cause lifelong conflicts. It is very important for the parents to understand the difference in personalities of their children and also to appreciate the differences rather than comparing their children with one another as this is the most common reason of fights between siblings.

9. SHARING THINGS

Another reason that may cause fights between siblings is sharing things with one another which may be toys, accessories, clothes and many more other things. Many a times there are some stuff that both the siblings use on sharing basis. Fights often arouse when either both of them need the same thing at the same time or when either of them has done some damage to the thing. This leads to fight as none of them will compromise and hand over the thing to the other one and also neither of them will admit their mistake and take the blame of the damage that has been done to the thing in the other case stated. Thus at the end the ultimate result will be fight between the siblings.

8. INEQUALITY

Inequality may also lead to fights between siblings. There are a thousand instances that children can mark as inequality may it be unequal number of punishments, hugs, outings, pocket money and many more. Even an extra marshmallow in the hot chocolate is treated as unequal treatment of the parents. Also, sometimes even parents on their part treat children differently due to their own reasons. All these things thus lead to fights between the siblings as they keep record of every small inequality done to them.

7. AGE DIFFERENCE

As we know that every age has its different benefits and everything is provided to us at a given age. But these things may lead to conflicts between siblings as they consider it as fairness issues. The elder one gets to attend late night parties with friends which may be considered as unequal treatment by the younger one. Similarly, the younger one is more pampered and also most of the times not scolded even after committing mistakes which may be treated as unfair treatment by the elder one. Also, the elder one is usually more protective and possessive towards the younger one which may sometimes lead to excess poking which is every time not acceptable by the younger one.  All such situations may cause differences between the siblings which subsequently lead to fights.

6. TELEVISION

Difference in personalities leads to different tastes and choices. One may like to watch cartoons while the other may like news or one may like serials while the other like watching cricket. It is not possible for every family to afford as many televisions as the number of children. Thus, at the end, the only thing happens is the fight for the remote control of the television as either of them is ready to adjust or cooperate. Television can therefore lead to fight at any instant even without a valid reason.

5. COMPETITION

Children like it when their parents praise them or are proud of them. But this can also lead to conflict between the siblings. There is always a competition going on between the siblings of the smarter one, the talented one, the fastest one, the obedient one, the responsible one and almost for every single title that one can think of. Siblings often compete with each other on all such basis may it be grades, looks and what not which consequently lead to fights and can even cause a feeling of resentment between the siblings. To avoid this parents should appreciate both the children for their hard work and should avoid comparison.

4. PARENTAL ATTENTION

Children love their parent attention and can do anything to get that. But this attention when given to only one child may lead to bitterness between the siblings. During such circumstances when one child is sick or may be one is weak in academics or when one is physically weak or under many other situations it becomes important to provide extra attention and care to that one child. Things circumstances can cause hard feelings in the other child and may thus lead to fights between the siblings. It is very important for the parents to avoid neglecting the other child completely and also to make the other child understand the situation so that fights because of attention issues can be avoided.

3. FRUSTRATION

Every person deals with day to day life stress. The only difference is that everyone deals with different kinds of stress which may be either exam stress or job stress or any other. This stress can sometimes make us restless and irritated. This frustration can also be a reason for siblings fight. As we know that siblings like irritating and teasing each other. But sometimes even small irritating things that are done in innocence by one of the sibling when gets mixed with the stress that the other person is facing can lead to fight between the two. Frustration and stress can thus also cause fights.

2. FOOD SHORTAGE

Most of the times the shortage of food which are usually juice boxes, snacks, chocolates and all types of fast foods can also lead to fight between the siblings. Even an extra scoop of ice cream or an extra piece of fries can lead to pushing and bullying between the siblings which then turns out to be a big fight. It is very important for the parents to avoid such instances by dividing food equally among children, so that the children do not get any chance to start a fight as shortage or unequal distribution of food often leads to fight.

1. SPACE ISSUES

Siblings spend a lot of time together and when we are close to someone of the same age every now and then it usually becomes irritating sooner or later which then leads to fights. Also, everyone needs their space and privacy and extra interruption of any one of the sibling into the other one matter’s will definitely lead to fireworks which are not going to be of the good kind. Nowadays, even reading one’s messages or opening one wardrobe is considered as intruding and can thus cause fights between siblings.

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